Pirates, Ye Be Warned: Chaos in the Caribbean
by ChaosLightning13
Summary: Lightning Lyn: 15 year old girl with a penchant for mischief. Tornado Tom: 12 year old boy with aspirations to rocket science. Captain Jack Sparrow: The poor unfortunate soul who kidnaps them both. Pirates, ye be warned.
1. From the Pearl to the Dauntless

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Captain Jack Sparrow, nor do I own any other characters from Pirates of the Caribbean, despite the fact that I traded Legolas to one of my classmates in exchange for Jack. Jack can't be owned; he's rather like a cat in that respect. Also, I merely created Lyn, Tom, Katie, and Nick; I don't own them. I don't own Lyn and Tom's house, although I did live there at one point. I think I own the plot of this story, what there is of it. There's definitely more plot in this one than there is in the sequel, which I am deliberately keeping plot-free so that it can go on forever.

Prologue:

The wind sighed though the branches of the palm trees that shaded the steps leading down to the beach. Down below, waves pounded against the sand, their rhythmic roaring a sweet music to the ears. Yet the two laughing children hardly noticed any of it; they lived on the beach, and had long ago become accustomed to every sight and sound.

            The children were named Lyndsay and Tomas Astra. Lyndsay—or Lyn for short—was currently wearing an outfit she'd gotten from Goodwill, which (not coincidentally) very closely resembled the outfit worn by Jack Sp—_Captain _Jack Sparrow in the movie "Pirates of the Caribbean." Tomas (called "Tom") was dressed like Will Turner, from the same movie. However, at the moment he wasn't pretending to be Will; rather, he was playing the part of Barbossa.

            _Clash! Clash! Clash! _The children's swords beat against each other every few seconds with a loud ringing sound. Shortly after they reached the bottom of the steps, the boy tripped and fell backwards, landing against the dunes that marked the edge of the beach. "What now, Jack Sparrow?"

            "_Captain_ Jack Sparrow," his sister muttered.

            Tom rolled his eyes. "Are we to be two immortals, locked in epic battle until judgment day and trumpets sound?"

            "Or you could surrender." Lyn's voice was an almost perfect imitation of the pirate Captain whom she was pretending to be.

            "Lyn! Tom!" their friend Nick cried, running up the beach. He stopped short when he got close enough to see their swords. "How the blazes did you get those?" he demanded.

            "Will Turner gave 'em to us," Tom replied, casual as you please.

            "What?" Nick demanded. "Who gave them to you?"

            "Will Turner. Bootstrap's son," Lyn clarified.

            "_What?!_" screeched Katie, who had been a few steps behind Nick. "However did you manage to meet Will Turner?"

            "Long story, love," Tom told her. "We'll explain later."

That evening found them gathered around a campfire, watching the dancing flames as they waited impatiently for Tom and Lyn to begin their story. "Well," Lyn said finally, "it began about a week ago, present time, although for us it was several months...."

Chapter One: From the _Pearl_ to the _Dauntless_

Their adventure began on the evening of Friday, February 13, 2004. Lyn, who was born on a Friday the 13th, well knew the type and extent of raw power present on that day. She and her brother had just finished watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" for the 13th time when they went outside to act out some of the scenes. They took with them a pair of plastic swords Lyn had acquired from one of her teachers. The plastic swords were much better than the curtain rods they'd used before, which kept getting tangled up to the point where it was nigh impossible to manage the part where Jack runs his sword along Will's.

            "Well, you know what you're doing, boy, I'll give you that," Lyn said, just as Tom tripped. "Excellent form," she managed to gasp before she doubled over with laughter. Tom leapt to his feet and the fight resumed, but as she turned around he whacked her over the head. She fell down, jamming one of the fingers on her right hand. "Damn and _blast_!" she swore, shaking her hand. At that moment, something _did_ blast. The two ran back up the path from the beach to the relative safety of their house on 13th Avenue.

            Not long afterward, the pirates broke down the door and entered the house. The children exchanged an ashen-faced glance. "Well, mate," Lyn whispered, "do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" Moments later, when the pirates entered the room, Lyn and Tom were not caught unprepared. "Freeze!" Lyn said, holding up a can of pepper-spray. Lyn's cat leapt at one pirate. The other pirate looked at her quizzically.

            "You look like the Captain. Minus the beard an' the mustache."

            Lyn returned the questioning glance. "You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

            "You _sound_ like the Captain!"

            Lyn's eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "The Captain, you say. You wouldn't be referring to Captain Jack Sparrow, would you?"

            "Why do you ask," grunted the first pirate, gripping the struggling cat and trying to keep it from scratching him.

            "I've always wanted to meet Jack Sparrow."

            "'E won' like 'avin' a landlubber aboard 'is ship."

            "Son," Lyn said, placing her thumb on the spray mechanism, "I'm Lightning Lyn Astra. Savvy?"

            "Fine then. Come with us. But the cat stays."

            "The cat comes. Give 'er to me."

            With a sigh, the two pirates led the two children (and the cat; don't forget the cat) to the _Black Pearl_.

"Who are you?" Jack demanded upon seeing the two children. "And what is that?"

            "Name's Lightning Lyn, an' this is me brother, Tornado Tom. An' that, my friend, is a curtain rod."

Days later (or centuries earlier), the _Pearl_ was cornered by four Navy ships, one of which was the _Dauntless_. "Damn that man," Jack swore. "Why can't he just give it up already?" He sighed. "I suppose I'm in for it this time, eh love?"

            Lyn shrugged. "Pretend we're yer 'ostages, if ye wan'. Make the Commodore agree to let you go in exchange for handin' us over."

            Jack gave her a look that bordered between awe and gratitude. "Bloody _brilliant_! Oy, Gibbs, run up a flag o' truce, would ye, mate?"

            The flag of truce went up, and the _Dauntless_ pulled up alongside the _Pearl_. "What is it?" Gillett demanded. "Speak quickly, pirate. The Commodore isn't one to put up with stalling."

            "Well, you can tell the good Commodore that I have two wonderful children aboard me ship, an' this lovely lass is one of them." He grabbed Lyn and pointed his pistol at her head. The pistol had only one shot, although he could have gotten more than that; he just preferred having to stop to consider whether it was worth shooting.

            Lyn screamed. "Quiet, girl," Jack ordered roughly, loudly enough for Gillett to hear. Lyn subsided to soft whimpers and trembles. It was really hard to keep up the act, but she managed. Finally Norrington emerged, and an agreement was reached. Lyn, Tom, and the cat boarded the _Dauntless_, and the _Pearl_ sailed away. Jack went to sweep off his hat, but it wasn't there. He looked at the _Dauntless_, and realized that Lyn was wearing his hat. "Bloody girl." He settled for simply waving his arm. "Always a pleasure doing business with you, Commodore!"

            Norrington grimaced. "What are your names, children?"

            "Firs', we're not children. We're young adults," Lyn informed him, waving a finger under his nose. "Second, we ain't tellin' you our names. You can call me Lightning. Me brother would be Tornado."

            Norrington looked at them dubiously. "What were you doing aboard the _Black Pearl_?"

            "Er," Tom said.

            "Er," Lyn supplied helpfully.

            "Stealing Jack's hat?" Tom suggested with a gesture toward said article of headwear.

            "Yeah. Aye," Lyn confirmed. "We were stealing Jack's hat. An' now we're stolen Jack's hat, so we'd be much obliged if you'd drop us off at Port Royal."

            "And what do you plan to do in Port Royal?" Norrington asked.

            "Actually, it is my intention to commandeer one of the ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer my weaselly black guts out."

            "The truth, please."

            "That was the truth." She waited to see if he'd fall for it.

            "If that were the truth, you wouldn't have told it." Yep, he fell for it.

            "Unless of course I knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if I told it to you."

            Norrington sighed. "I do believe Jack Sparrow has been a bad influence on you."

            "_Captain _Jack Sparrow," Lyn corrected.

Thar it is, mates! The firs' chapter, finally up! Now, if it's not too much trouble, I'd be much obliged if ye'd give me a review. Savvy?


	2. Meet Will Turner

DISCLAIMER: I stole Jack's hat! But it's still Jack's, it's not mine, and it wasn't exactly stealing, it was more like borrowing without permission. If you recognize it, I don't own it, unless you only recognize it from the previous chapter.

A/N (2/29/04): Kyux, here I am, typin' another chapter, when I can't e'en reach th' reviews from th' firs' chapter. Bloody website. But thanks anyways to my wonderful reviewers! I'll make sure to give you specific replied in the next chapter.

Chapter Two: Meet Will Turner

The children—excuse me, _young adults_—were crazy. Commodore Norrington was an inflexible British Navy officer. Bad combination, for Norrington at least. Lyn and Tom found it to be an excellent opportunity for mischief.

            Lyn cowered back against some rigging, while Tom stood over her with a toy gun. It was emerald-green and had yellow foam darts. In his other hand was another toy gun, which fired discs. "Ni! Ni!" he cried.

            "Eeeeek!" squealed Lyn. "No! Please! I surrender!"

            "Arr! Swash swash buckle buckle."

            "No! Don't hurt me! I'll give you—I'll give you my cat!" Lyn passed Tom her cat, which immediately hissed and tried to scratch him.

            "You keep the cat," he said, giving it back to her.

            When Norrington saw them, he came over, wondering what the bloody Hell they were up to _this_ time. Gypsy (the cat) hissed at him. Lyn said, "I don' think she likes you."

            "We are almost to Port Royal," Norrington said. "Are you sure you'll be safe there?"

            "Oh, o' course," Tom assured him. "We're gonna get Will to 'elp us steal—"

            "_Commandeer_," Lyn corrected.

            "—_steal_ a ship. Tha's what Will calls it."

            "Commandeer a ship," Lyn insisted. "Will's a pirate."

            Will Turner himself greeted them at the dock. "You look like a Jack Sparrow wannabe," he said to Lyn, who decided to take that as a complement. Still...

            "_Captain_ Jack Sparrow."

            "She is," Tom said, earning himself a glare from his sister.

            On their way to his shop, they told Will about their plans. "So you're telling me you stole Jack's hat?" he asked with a mixture of admiration and disbelief. "And now you plan to steal a ship?"

            Lyn sighed and turned to Tom. "You win." Then she perked up; she'd seen all the swords on the walls. She'd always wanted a sword—well, maybe not always (in fact, she'd been scared of all sharp, pointy objects for the longest time), but she'd wantedone for the past two years, ever since she'd first seen "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring." "Hey, Will, what say you you teach us some sword-fightin' skills, eh? We could practice three hours a day, same as you."

            Will gave her a suspicious look. "I'm beginning to suspect you know my entire life's story."

            "No," Lyn said with a grin, "only most of it."

            To prove just how much they knew, Lyn and Tom decided to act out the sword-fight scene between Jack and Will. After all, the setting was right, and Lyn even had the irons. They played the scene out perfectly, with real swords even, except the sword thrown at the door, which they had to mime. Will found that part rather amusing. At the end, they used the green toy gun. That was too much for Will, who doubled over with laughter.

            About that time, Elizabeth arrived. "Who are you?"

            "Lightning Lyn Astra an' Tornado Tom."

            "Pirate wannabes," Tom added

            "Shut up."

            As always, he replied, "Why don't you?" Stupidest Tom-fool response Lyn had ever heard, and way overused. In fact, it was so overused that Lyn had a comeback already prepared:

            "Because I would have, mate, if you hadn't just said that."

            "Oh."

            "Oh," Lyn repeated, in the tone of voice Jack used when talking to Elizabeth in that deleted scene on the island.

            Tom recovered mighty fast. "He still risked his life to save ours. So we've got to do something to help him!"

            "Off you go, then," Lyn said, making shooing motions with her hands. "Tell me how that turns out."

            Will looked bewildered—it was such a non sequitur (A/N: Yay! I get extra credit in Latin). Elizabeth looked freaked out. She asked how they know about that, so the young adults told her the truth. She didn't seem to believe them, for some reason.

            Will agreed to teach them fencing, although they didn't seem to need the lessons. They told him that they'd practiced that particular scene more times than they could count—literally; they'd lost count somewhere around forty-two. So he agreed to teach them, and even made them the swords, for them to use after they were skilled enough not to stab themselves in the feet.

"An' that is the story of how we met Will Turner," Lyn concluded with a bow.

Review! Please! And no, this isn't the last chapter. There _will_ be more later, just be patient.


	3. Drunk Lightning

DISCLAIMER: I do not own PotC. Does it look like I own PotC? If I owned PotC, would I be here writing this? No.

A/N (3/5/04): Here I am, typing another chapter. I've been bad and haven't typed anything for about a week. But hopefully I'll get this chapter done today.

Katie and Nick invited themselves over to the Astras' house the next day. They brought with them Katie's younger sister, Lisa. Lisa was fourteen, a year younger than the rest (except for Tom, who was twelve, and Nick, who was sixteen; so really she was a year younger than the other girls).

            "Tell us more about your adventures in the Caribbean," Katie said. "You left off where you met Will, but surely that wasn't all. Surely Jack wasn't going to stand for it that you stole his hat."

            "Yer right," Lyn agreed. "There is more."

As mentioned before, Lyn had stolen Jack's hat. Well, there was a reason for that. That reason became apparent when one of their fencing lessons was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come in," Will called, motioning for the young adults to put away their swords.

            Ja—Captain Jack Sparrow entered, acting very Jack-like. "Will, have you seen—ah, there you are." He'd spotted Lyn in the middle of his question. "You stole my hat."

            "Borrowed," Lyn corrected. "Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back to you." She bowed with a flourish and presented Jack with his hat.

            Jack noticed that the hat was a bit heavier than normal. When he looked inside, he discovered the reason: there was a cat curled up inside. Jack tried to take the cat out. That part worked. What didn't work was when he tried to give the cat back to Lyn. Lyn wouldn't take her, and the cat clung to Jack's sleeve and wouldn't let him put her down. "Please take her?" Jack begged. Lyn shook her head.

            "She likes you. Besides, now I have to come with you."

            At that moment the cat began to purr. Jack smiled at her, then suddenly glared. "You cheated!"

            "Gypsy," Lyn retorted for her cat.

            As they sauntered toward the harbor, Jack explained, "We'll be taking a dinghy to Tortuga, where we'll rendezvous with the _Pearl_. The _Pearl_ is a pirate ship; therefore the Pirates' Code applies. Savvy?"

            Lyn and Tom exchanged a glance. "Any man who falls behind is left behind," Tom recited dutifully. The siblings exchanged another glance, then ran to the docks, jumped in the dinghy, and had just pushed off when Jack leapt in after them.

            "What was that for?" he demanded.

            The real reason they'd done it was because they were crazy and felt like it, but Lyn couldn't pass up this opportunity to recite one of her favorite poems:

What is the moral? Who rides may read

When the night is thick and the tracks are blind;

A friend at a pinch is a friend indeed,

But a fool to wait for the laggard behind.

Down to Gehenna or up to the throne,

He travels the fastest who travels alone.

White hands cling to the tightened rein,

Slipping the spur from the booted heel.

Tenderest voices cry, "Turn again."

Red lips tarnish the scabbarded steel.

High hopes faint on a warm hearth stone—

He travels the fastest who travels alone.

One may fall but he falls by himself,

Falls by himself with himself to blame.

One may attain and to him is the pelf,

Loot of the city in gold or fame

Plunder of earth shall be all his own

Who travels the fastest and travels alone.

Wherefore the more be ye holpen and stayed,

Stayed by a friend in the hour of toil,

Sing the heretical song I have made:

His be the labor and yours be the spoil.

Win by his aid and the aid disown—

He travels the fastest who travels alone!

As the journey progressed, Lyn recited more poems to pass the time. Whenever she began one, Tom plugged his ears and hummed—loudly and off-key.

            All they had to drink was some rum Jack had stowed aboard. At first Lyn refused even to go near it. "Beer smells bad," she would say, "and wine tastes bad." But eventually thirst got the better of her, and she took a sip. "Hey! This is actually pretty good." Even then, she was careful not to drink too much; she'd read enough about hangovers to make her cautious. Still, she needed fluid, and she drank enough that she became slightly tipsy—enough to slur her words. "They come c'eepin' out o' dar'ness, an' to dar'ness they aturn. In their wake they lea'e des'uction—"

            "Desuction?" Tom interrupted, taking his fingers out of his ears. "Lyn, yer drunk!"

            "No I not," Lyn protested weakly. "I on'y had four drinks today." She held up five fingers.

            "Lyn," said Tom, "yer hol'in' up siss fin'ers."

            Lyn blinked at him. "Sleepy time," she announced suddenly. She lay her head in Jack's lap and promptly fell asleep.

Thar she be! The third chapter. An' now for a word to my reviewers:

Dragon Faere: I'm continuin', mate. This 'ere story's gonna continue until they get back home.

Madame Wolf: Yes, the situation is a bit overused, but I couldn't resist. I'm glad you like it.

Olivia: I'm hurryin', love. Or trying to. Bloody homework!

L: Oh, I feel bad for them too. Especially considering there's going to be a sequel....

Culurieneldoreth: In the original version, there was more description, but I like it better without the description. Keeps it moving faster, an' makes it seem crazier. As for Will, he didn't mean to meet them at the docks, they just spotted him there an' went to talk to him, savvy?

ChancingFaith: Yes, much funness. And it gets better, especially in the sequel.

Squidsbabygrl: Yay! A well-thought-out review! Now for my response. Yes, I'm using a lot of lines from the movie, but that's because that's in character for Lyn and Tom. See, they're obsessed with PotC, and now that they're in it they're probably having trouble thinking properly, so these ready-made lines (from PotC, of course) are the best they can come up with most of the time. (I actually came up with most of that on the spot, but it makes sense so that's the official explanation.)

Pirate Rhi: I've now told their ages (thanks for pointing out that I hadn't), but in case you missed it here they are again: Lyn is 15, as is Katie. Nick is 16. Tom is 12.

ApocalypseTwinsNo.666: Heh. Lyn and Tom are actually based off myself and my brother, just made a bit crazier; although, maybe not at that. I'd probably stop following any rules right off if I ever got aboard the _Black Pearl_.

ElfIcarii: I haven't abandoned you. Lightning is back, as it says in my bio. And ff.mort is stupid. I've gotten this one author alert honestly about forty-two times ( I use that number because it's the answer to the Big Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything). Non sequitur means "it does not follow." A non sequitur is something that just comes out of the blue, or seems to. Eh, this story prolly won' be all that long, but the sequel's gonna go on forever, as far as I can tell.


	4. Welcome to Tortuga

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Jack, I don't own the rum (more's the pity), Gypsy owns Lyn, and my brother owns Tom. Any questions?

A/N (3/6/04): More funness! I've been away most of today, at a Mu Alpha Theta competition. Then I spent a good deal of time working on my homework my room. But now I'm back, an' I'm comin' up with th' next chapter. Oh, and by the way, this is **not**, and I repeat **not**, a romance. Lyn **does** have a crush on Jack, but I've already tried my hand at a Jack Sparrow romance and failed, so I'm not going to try with this. This story is a crazy adventure story, and since Lyn isn't going to stay on the _Pearl_, I can't have Jack falling in love with her, now can I?

We left off at the point where Lyn had fallen asleep on Jack's lap. At first Jack was afraid to move her, fearing that she would wake up. But when she began to snore, Jack gently lifted her head off his lap and laid it down on a convenient sack. She stirred but didn't wake up. The fact is, she probably wouldn't have woken even if the dinghy sank into the water; after all, the water was nice and warm.

            Later, when the arrived at Tortuga, Lyn still hadn't woken up. She didn't wake when Jack shook her, nor even when Tom began to sing. Jack was obliged to carry her into the town. Only after he poured cold water on her head did she wake up. "Hey! Stop it! Go away!"

            "I'd love to, darling," Jack replied, "but I'm afraid I can't."

"I was having the loveliest dream," she continued, as she blinked at Jack a few times. Suddenly she became almost fully awake, and realized who he was and what he'd said. "Oh, right. The only rules that really matter, eh?"

            "What are you talking about?"

            "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can't do."

            "I'm not even going to ask you how you know about that." Ah, yes, dear Jack is very wise. He knew better than to ask a question to which he didn't really want to know the answer.

            "Well, well, well, look what we 'ave 'ere. Captain Jack Sparrow."

            "Already lost the _Pearl_, Jack?" another voice chimed in. "Ye didn't keep 'er very long, did ye?"

            "We're surrounded," Tom observed.

            "Yes, I can see that," Lyn said irritably. "Time to split," she muttered to herself. "Jack! What is the moral?"

            For a moment Jack looked confused. Then comprehension dawned. "Oh! That bloody poem," he mouthed. Lyn nodded.

            While Jack was engaging the pirates in conversation, Lyn took out a set of vampire teeth, her dagger, and the pepper-spray. Can't forget the pepper-spray. She inspected the vampire teeth, decided they were reasonably clean—nothing a bit of rum couldn't take care of—and put them in her mouth. Then she turned to the pirates and said, "The evil vampires of doom are upon you!" When they began to laugh, she hissed. Freakishly, Gypsy, who was in her arms, hissed at the exact say moment.

            "Gentlemen," Jack said, "I would advise you to leave. These children are dangerous."

            "And watch the wall, my darling, while the Gentlemen go by," Lyn quoted.

            "And entirely unpredictable," Jack added.

            Lyn smiled. "I fear no man, nor beast, nor phantom in the night. I am the Killer, and I come from the darkness of the starless night to cast down evil and prepare for the coming of the sun. Fear me, for I am the bringer of the red dawn!"

            "Thought that was Stormwind," Jack muttered.

            The pirates didn't move. Lyn sprayed pepper-spray in their faces. _Well_, she thought, _the dawn will look red to them._

            While the pirates were recovering from the shock, amidst much cursing, Lyn, Tom, and Jack bolted in three different directions. Naturally the pirates gave chase—meaning they all ran towards Lyn, clamoring for her blood. They were none too happy about the pepper-spray.

            Idiots. Lyn let them catch up, turned around, and sprayed them all again. Then she took off.

There was a reason she was called Lightning, besides the fact that she was unpredictable. That reason soon became apparent as she sped through the town. She was _fast_.

Gypsy helped. She ran between the pirates' legs, and one of them tripped over her. Several more tripped over that one, and even more over them, and so on, until nearly all of them were down. When they got back up, stupid pirates that they were, they began to fight _each other_. They didn't even notice when Lyn slipped among them and picked their pockets clean of everything but lint—though there was a good bit of that mixed in among the silver and gold she stole. Then she ran at top speed for the harbor—just in time to watch the _Black Pearl_ sail away.

"Bloody pirates!" Tom growled.

"Not to worry, mate. They'll be back." Lyn adjusted Jack's hat so it rested more firmly on her head.

Thank you all who have reviewed! If you haven't, please do, or I'll send Lyn and Tom after you.

Rema: Will only realizes that Lyn looks like Jack, not that she talks like Jack. Earlier, the pirates realized she talked like Jack because she was actually quoting Jack, and doing her best to use his voice. Jack only notices that she looks like Samantha, who's in one of my other stories that takes place before this one. It's titled "Daughter of a Pirate."

Nosilla: Yes, yes, more is coming. Don't you worry. And now the young adults are stranded in Tortuga. Funness.


	5. Soul of a Thief

Disclaimer: I don't even own Katie or Nick. My evil twin owns Katie, and a friend from school owns Nick.

                        * * *

A/N (3/20/04): I had the first part of this typed up, then the computer was restarted, then restarted again, so I lost it. C'est la vie.

                        * * *

"Why didn't you use your swords against the pirates?" Nick asked.

            Lyn shrugged. "Didn't think o' it."

            Tom raised his eyebrows. "I thought o' it, but there wasn't enough room. Soon's I bolted, though, I drew my sword, just in case."

            "Were you really stranded in Tortuga?" Lisa asked.

            "Of course they weren't," Nick replied. "This is just a story they're making up to explain how they got them swords."

            "Will Turner gave 'em to us," Lyn insisted. "I swear on me black little heart that we're tellin' th' truth. We _were_ stranded in Tortuga. Why, I've even got the scars to prove it!"

* * *

            Lyn and Tom went back to the tavern, swords drawn (at Tom's suggestion). Lyn also had out her pepper-spray, her weapon of choice. The pirates, stupid men that they are, attacked them again. For their trouble they got sprayed in the face for the _n_th time that day. "Damn," Lyn said, looking at the can of pepper-spray. "This stuff won't last forever."

            "Too bad we don't have any replicators," Tom remarked. "Or better yet, phasers."

            "For once, I actually agree with you about that bloody Star Trek nonsense."

            Lyn got them a room (with a lock). They walked up the stairs. Every time a stair creaked, Lyn winced. You may have noticed that Lyn has the soul of a thief, and creaky stairs are the bane of thieves the world over. The hallway also creaked. This meant that Lyn and Tom would know whenever anyone approached, so long as they were awake.

            After they'd checked out their room, Lyn and Tom went back downstairs for supper. One of the other customers tried to take too many liberties with Lyn. He was lucky that he didn't find himself minus an important part of his anatomy before Lyn was through chastising him. Lyn retreated to the room and locked the door.

            Tom, meanwhile, was trying to fend off the unwanted attention of the tavern owner's daughter. Eventually he fled upstairs to the room, only to find the door locked. He banged on the door and said, "Lyn, it's me! Let me in!"

            "I don't particularly like pirates," Lyn announced as she opened the door. "Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them."

            Tom shot her a surprised look.

            Lyn relocked the door. "I've been thinkin'."

            "Really?" Tom asked. "That's new."

            "I know," Lyn admitted. Tom began to edge away from her. What had happened to his sister? "I really haven't thought at all since this all started. I've been thinkin', an' I've come to the conclusion that the pirates here in Tortuga really need somethin' to get them worried. Scare away all o' the cowards who should never 'ave become pirates in th' first place."

            Tom gave a sigh of relief. This was more like the Lyn he knew. "So what's yer plan?"

            "The plan is, we start stealin' things. Like Skif when he was mad. Break holes in houses, scatter valuables all over the place—that sort of thing."

            First they raided a shop for some kohl. Lots of kohl. "It's not jes' fer me eyes," Lyn explained. "I need t' cover me whole face wi' th' stuff." Then they raided another shop for some dark clothing. "Shades o' gray," Lyn insisted, "not jes' black. If I'm wearin' all black, I'll be a man-shaped black splotch amongst the shadows." Lyn sewed herself an outfit from the cloth. "We need some rope." Unfortunately, the shop they found that had rope was guarded, night and day.

"I've got an idea!" Lyn said. "We could steal rope from a ship. A pirate ship."

That night, Lyn, wearing her new clothes and with her face covered in kohl, snuck down to the docks. She slipped from shadow to shadow, breathing shallowly, careful to keep quiet. She kept moving even when she stepped on a leaf, knowing it was best to get away from where she'd made the noise.

Several ships rose tall at anchor in the harbor. She chose one she knew to be a pirate ship and swam out to it, careful to keep her face out of the water so the kohl wouldn't wash off. She climbed aboard the ship, knocked out the sentries left to guard it, and used her dagger to cut away quite a bit of rope. She wrapped the rope around her waist and swam back to shore.

After that, things were easy. Lyn would use the rope to climb to the roof of a building, knock holes in said roof, and skeddadle. But she wasn't satisfied.

"Maybe you could sing to them," Tom suggested. "That would be torture."

Two days later, they walked into a shop (wearing masks, of course). Lyn pointed a gun at the customers (mostly pirates), and Tom pointed a gun at the cashier. They'd stolen the guns from a pair of drunken pirates. As Tom got the cashier to hand over all the money, Lyn began to sing: "I hate you, you hate me, let's tie Barney to a tree with a knife in 'is back and an arrow through 'is head, now that purple dino's dead."

            * * *

That's the end of that chapter. Short, I know. But I'll (hopefully) upload the next chapter tomorrow. I have it written, so all I have to do is type it. Please review!


	6. I Have the Scars to Prove It

DISCLAIMER: I may 'ave a death wish, but bein' 'auled off to prison by them Disney lawyers would be rather inglorious, an' Cari won' be able to get me out fer several years, considerin' she don' e'en exist yet, so I'll say right now that I don' own it, savvy?

A/N (4/17/04): I'm in a bad mood at the moment, so I'm procrastinatin' abou' gettin' me work done. So 'ere I am, typin' up another chapter fer yer enjoyment.

"You said you had the scars to prove it," Katie observed, "but you haven't mentioned any scars."

            Lyn tossed her head. "I was gettin' to that, love."

Lyn began to dress as a boy—not too hard, since she looked like a boy to begin with. She made quite a dashing lad (naturally; she looked like a younger version of Jack). The younger strumpets congregated around her even more than they congregated around Tom (who looked like Legolas).

            Lyn derived great amusement from flirting with said strumpets. Unfortunately, one of said strumpets had a boyfriend. Said boyfriend didn't appreciate having his girlfriend flirt with another man, so said boyfriend challenged Lyn to a fight.

            Lyn drew her sword. "Do you think this wise, boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?"

            "You're no pirate!" he spat.

            Unfortunately, Lyn won the fight. Unfortunately because now she had even more admirers. Unfortunately because now she had a reputation, and young upstarts had to challenge her to a fight to prove their manliness. Unfortunately because said young upstarts didn't take well to being beaten.

            One such young upstart, enraged at being beaten, decided to eliminate Lyn. He attacked Lyn with a knife. Lyn tried to fend off the knife with her hand. Bad idea. The young upstart backed off to gloat a bit, since he knew he'd won and could kill her at his leisure. After all, her sword-hand was crippled. Unfortunately for him, Lyn had often switched to fighting with her left hand during her fencing lessons (much to Will's dismay). This was not uncommon for her; she'd taught herself to write left-handed because she kept spraining her fingers, and could even play tennis with her left hand.

            She managed to draw her sword left-handed and thrust it through his belly. His eyes rolled back into his head and he slid off the sword.

            "No one messes with Lightning," Lyn announced to the noisy tavern.

            Lyn's hand healed, but she was left with a scar. Her first scar.

            Her second scar was on her forehead. That one was embarrassing. She'd drunk two glasses of rum (she'd tried the water, but had thrown up), and was slightly tipsy. As she got up, she tripped over her own feet and slammed her forehead against one of the benches. A doctor had to come and sew the skin back together. The doctor gave her some wine to drink. She spat it back out. The doctor then gave her some rum, which she drank. "Pour the wine o'er me 'ead," she commanded. "So's I don' get sick." The doctor complied, though he had no idea what she was talking about. Lyn screamed like a girl when the alcohol washed over her wound, then blacked out. She got sick anyways.

            While she was sick, the champion tavern brawler showed up and challenged her to a fight. In the middle of the fight, while their swords were locked, Lyn kicked him in the groin.

            "You cheated!" he accused.

            It was a sign of how ill she was that she didn't automatically respond, "Pirate." She didn't even respond with that word after careful deliberation. Instead, she said, "Now that's a harsh accusation. I prefer to think that fate needs a bit o' guidance sometimes."

            "Excellent!" crowed one of the onlookers. "Son, ye remind me o' Jonny."

            "Johnny? Johnny Depp?"

            "Who's Johnny Depp?"

            "Ugly guy from the future. Looks kinda like Jack Sparrow—Captain Jack Sparrow, I mean."

            "Riiight."

            "So which Johnny do I remind you of? Or is it Jonny?"

            "Riiight. Jonny Kingsley is 'oo I meant. Captain Jon Kingsley, excuse me."

            "But—that's one o' the things that makes Jack Spa—_Captain_ Jack Sparrow special."

            The man smiled and shook his head.

When Lyn got better, she resumed her excursions of thievery. On her first expidition, she got shot in the leg. Bleeding profusely, and cursing like a sailor, she limped to the doctor. Once again the doctor had both wine and rum ready, but this time he gave her the rum first, then poured the wine on the wound. He bandaged the wound and gave Lyn a makeshift crutch.

            Lyn limped back to the tavern. She found Tom being pushed around by a couple of older boys. "C'mon, fight like a man!" one said.

            "He's not a man. He's a eunuch," sneered another.

            Lyn hit them both with her crutch. She was the only one allowed to call Tom a eunuch. "Nobody makes fun o' me brother," she said in a frightening voice. "Nobody that don' want to become a eunuch hisself, that is." She smiled. The boys fled.

            Lyn's next excursion was into the seedier parts of town. She was stopped by a pirate captain who recognized her as a girl because he'd seen her before. "Don't resist now, darling, an' it'll be easier on both o' us."

            Lyn punched him.

            He began to get rough. "Darling, ye should know better'n to hit Cap'n Corvil."

            "Captain? Of what ship?"

            "The _Inferno_."

            Lyn tried to draw her dagger and ended up pulling the sheath off her belt. Undaunted, she used it to rap Cap'n Corvil's head. He fell to the ground, unconscious.

            Lyn went back to the tavern and took a burning log from the fire. She managed to burn her fingers in the process. Next she went to the harbor, rowed out to the _Inferno_, and threw the burning log onto the ship.

            The next day, when she heard about the ship which had burned down, she asked which ship it was. The _Inferno_, she was told. She shrugged. "Musta been bad luck to name the ship _Inferno_."

            "Aye. Cap'n Corvil shoulda learnt from the _Red Sun_. Allus storms around that ship."

            "On'y in da mornin'," someone else said. "Da cap'n ain' much o' a mornin' person."

            "You burned it down, didn't you?" Tom asked once they were in their room.

            "Aye."

            "Why don't we burn it all down?"

            "What?"

            "I hate this place. Why don't we burn down the whole bloody port o' Tortuga?"

            "Sure," Lyn said. "Let's burn up the whole blazin' town. 'We burn up the city, we're really a fright,' eh?"

            "Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!"

"So you burned Tortuga to the ground?" Lisa asked.

            "No' quite," Lyn admitted, "but we came close. Several buildings burned down."

            "Made a nice picture," Tom commented.

Thank ye to all me lovely reviewers!

Amy: Glad ye liked the barney song. I jes' couldn' resist addin' that. As fer Lyn endin' up wi' Jack's hat, well, she's a thief, an' she needs some way to get Jack to come back. I think I'll have 'er cat steal the hat next.

Eccentric Banshee: It _is_ me brother an' meself, savvy? Yer comment abou' gettin' high on a pixie stick is confusin' but funny. Yer whole review is confusin' but funny.

Fireblade K'Chona: Thank ye fer yer nitpicky French-student comment. I changed it jes' fer ye.

DuelingDestiny: Oh, I love mayhem, too. That's why there's so much o' it.

ElfIcarii: I continued Daughter of a Pirate. After about three months, I know, but I finally got around to it.

Olivia: Why thank ye. An' why should I put seagulls in it?


	7. Back Aboard the Black Pearl

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from this story except Cap'n Corvil. Pretty sad, ain't it? But I actually know Tearlach. 'E's real cool. 'E's in one o' me PotC Yahoo! groups. So I figured I'd add 'im into the story 'cause 'e really is in Jack's crew.

* * *

A/N (4/19/04): I meant to put this in the last chapter but I forgot. If ye can come up with a better title for "You Stole My Hat for want of a better title," I'll put ye in the sequel to this story, "Into the Vortex." Savvy?

A/N (4/19/04): Oh, an' I jes' uploaded a new story to www.FictionPress.com. It's called "Sir Jacob Swift" an' it's by ChaosLightning13. It's about pirates, so y'all might like it. Please read an' review.

A/N (4/19/04): Jes' so's yer not conused, the things in {} are comments Lyn an' Tom are makin' while they're tellin' the story. Savvy?

* * *

Lyn and Tom sat on the dock, watching Tortuga burn to the ground. "The dock" because the other ones were all on fire.

            Lyn looked behind her when she heard footsteps on the dock. Gypsy squirmed in her arms, but she held on tight, not wanting the cat to be burnt to a crisp.

            "Hello cat," said Jack.

            "Hello Jack," said Lyn.

            "What's going on, love?" Jack asked.

            Lyn shrugged. "We set fire to Tortuga."

            "You _what?!_"

            "It was Tom's idea."

            "You were the one who burnt down the pirate ship," Tom protested.

            "I was bored. An' the cap'n got on me nerves."

            "Lyn doesn't like pirates anymore."

            "'Ceptin' the ones aboard the _Pearl_."

* * *

"Jack," Anamaria said, "you're daft."

            Tearlach nodded. "Thought we'd gotten rid o' those kids weeks ago."

            "Well," Lyn said expansively, "o' course the crew has to vote on whether we're to be allowed on board." She took in Jack's incredulous stare. "Me, I'm honest, an' ye can never predict when an honest girl is goin' to do summat incredibly stupid." She was, at least, wise enough (and dishonest enough) to conceal her true motives: she only wanted to be a pirate for the democracy. "But first, y'all gotta know the whole story. Pros first. We're crazy. The kid's an inventor; 'e can build weapons an' devices an' whatnot. We're both devils o' fighters. We can be used as 'ostages, or to make ships think yer not pirates, savvy? Now fer the cons. We're annoyin' as Hell, an' we don' know the firs' thing 'bout bein' pirates."

            A few minutes later, the vote came in: the kids were to be allowed to stay aboard the _Pearl_. After all, they were crazy, just like the crew.

* * *

"Tom'll 'ave to tell the next part," Lyn said to her friends.

            "Yeah," Tom agreed. "Lyn slept through the whole bloody battle. An' it was 'er own fault the battle was fought in the firs' place."

            "It's not my fault y'all didn't bother to wake me up," Lyn protested. Tom rolled his eyes.

* * *

Tom was up in the crow's nest, having been driven there by his annoying older sister. {Hey! I'm not annoyin'!} {Yes ye are. Besides, who's tellin' this, me or you?} {Yer tellin' it, but on'y acause I cain't tell it 'cause I was asleep. I'm a better storyteller than ye.} {Shut up.} Anyhoo, up in the crow's nest, Tom spotted an approaching ship. He got out the spyglass he'd borrowed from Lyn (without permission), which she'd stolen from a shop in Tortuga. First all he could see was the bright blue water of the Caribbean. As he slowly moved the spyglass, he found the ship again. The spyglass brought it into sharp focus. He spotted a pirate flag waving in the breeze.

            Tom scampered down the rigging and reported to Jack. "Captain, there's a pirate ship approaching."

            "Run up the Jolly Roger," Jack ordered.

            The other ship continued to approach. When they got within range, they began to fire on the _Pearl_. Tom knew that wasn't a good sign. The _Pearl_ began to fire back. The _Pearl, _of course, was the better ship.

            When it came to fighting, the _Pearl_ was better as well. Especially because they had Tom on board. {Shut up, Tom. Yer a short little kid an' if ye 'ad to fight an expert ye'd lose in ten seconds.} _As Lyn had said_, Tom was a devil of a fighter. Soon the pirates on the other ship were subdued.

            "What's the meaning of all this?" Jack demanded.

            "One o' yer crewmembers burned me ship," the other pirate captain replied, staring defiantly at Jack despite the fact that he was tied up.

            {I'll take o'er now, Tom, thank ye very much.} About that time Lyn woke from a deep sleep. She stumbled sleepily onto the deck and saw Cap'n Corvil, all tied up. "Oh, hello there, son. Didn' expect to see ye. Sorry, mates, fergot to mention 'im in the list o' cons."

            "What happened?" Tearlach asked.

            "Oh, I just burned down 'is ship."

            "You _what?!_"

            Lyn srugged. "'E got on me nerves."

* * *

I know it's short, but then I didn't get many reviews. Okay, I only got two. *Huggles lovely reviewers.* Thanks to Fireblade K'Chona and DuelingDestiny fer reviewin'. If y'all review the next chapter'll prolly be longa.

Fireblade K'Chona: Me mum an' dad're goin' to France this summer. Pretty cool that you went there.

DuelingDestiny: Aye, me brother is jes' a bit strange. It was really his idea to burn Tortuga to the ground. But it was me own idea to burn the pirate ship. This story is called "Pirates, Ye Be Warned," after all.


	8. Pirates

DISCLAIMER: I own it all! I have the One Ring an' I'm takin' o'er the world! Okay, so maybe tha's on'y in me imagination. I don' really own it. But I'm thinkin' o' buyin' Tortuga when I'm rich an' famous.

* * *

A/N (5/4/04): I've been procrastinatin', I know. I typed up three chapters o' a new story an' uploaded the firs' one to FictionPress. Y'all might like it. A lot o' it's 'bout thieves. An' they talk like pirates. Don' ask me why; I wrote it afore I watched PotC. The title is "The Legacy of War," by ChaosLightning13. Anyhoo, I jes' took the AP Test fer Stats (tha's Statistics), an' I'm takin' a break from homework for a while 'cause I'm worn out, so I decided to take the opportunity to type a new chapter. On'y two more chapters to go (includin' this one)!

* * *

Over 50 reviews! Yay! I think I'll throw a yay-party. Nah, I know what I'll do. I'll say I'll update as quickly as possible if I get 100 reviews. Ye know what, if I get 100 reviews by the time I start typin' "Into the Vortex," I'll put y'all in it. Jes' tell me in yer review if ye wanna be in it, savvy? Oh, by the way, everyone, Friday is me evil twin, an' she owns Katie.

            Fireblade K'Chona: Are ye in the yahoogroup HeraldicCircle? 'Cause me character Lightning an' Skyla the Bardic-trainee were plannin' on turnin' all the uniforms purple.

            DuelingDestiny: Why thank ye. It's nice to be appreciated. An' don' insult me brother! I'm the on'y one allowed to call 'im names. Sorry fer not updatin' sooner. 

            Calico Jack: Aye. I think I own it. Now I'm thinkin' me muse Meg owns it. I prolly 'ave more than one muse, considerin' I've got 'bout four personalities. Actually, it doesn't, but if ye wan' real good description ye should read "The Legacy of War" (hint hint). Aye, they 'ave real swords. Okay, so it's not very realistic, but then again neither is the story. But did they really get those swords from Will Turner, or did they make it all up? Lyn's a great story-teller, ye know. An' she's allus wanted a sword. Mayhap their parents got 'em the swords. Aye. In other words, she looks like me. Ye can't ferget the cat. Thanks fer the correction. I di'n' know which one it was an' I guessed wrong. Er, she "borrowed" it. I know. Poor Norrington. Thanks fer that correction, too. I need to get a beta-reader, or maybe I should jes' check these stories over afore I upload them. Oh, 'e 'as, don' ye worry.

            Maybe ye should be me beta-reader. I love Monty Python too. I need to get Monty Python and the Holy Grail so's I can watch it again. I know. Tom won. 'Ey, I was tryin' to be realistic. I mean, Lyn can't win every time. Anyways, it made it funnier. Oh, Lyn either made 'em 'erself (she's certainly smart enough), got Tom to make 'em ('e plans to be an inventor), or bought 'em. I know. I couldn't resist the pun. I wonder.

            Aye, ye assumed correct. Aye, Kipling. Me favorite poet. I memorized it, actually. Wrote it in Elven runes on me binder. I like memorizin' poetry. The sequel is "Into the Vortex."

            Aye, that would be DoaP. Oh, I ne'er thought o' that. But she does sleep through a battle. Not much different than 'er alarm. An' I'm not really that deep a sleeper, at least I think not. I usually wake up to me alarm, but on Sunday I think I slept through it. Aye, again. She's got this thing with stealin' Jack's hat. O' course they both look like me. The thing is, I like 'ow I look. 'Cept fer the pimples. An' I'd rather if I 'ad black hair. An' sometimes I wish me eyes were a different color. But other than that, me characters usually look jes' like me.

            I'm a math freak, kyux? (Means "okay.") No, I'm not a Star Trek fan. I hate Star Trek. But it's all me brother reads. I can be very mean sometimes. Skif is a character owned by Mercedes Lackey. 'E's a thief, an' 'e's got a great sense o' humor. No, I'm not that bad, in fact one day ye might turn on the radio an' hear my voice, but me brother hates music of all types.

            Cari is one o' the characters in "Into the Vortex." Not sayin' any more here, 'cause I don' wanna give anythin' away. Aye, me brother really does look like Legolas, 'cept 'e's got short hair. Like I said, Lyn is me. I can play tennis with me left 'and.

No, she's really not honest. But she's pretendin' to be honest.

            Eccentric Banshee: I feel special!

            cupcakeswirl: In my opinion 'e is. De gustibus non est disputandum.

            Mme. Calico Jack Rackham: Ooh, I feel special!

            Lyn's 15, Tom's 12, Nick's actually 17 (must change that), Katie's 15, an' Lisa's 14.

            Why thank ye.

Now ye've gone an' 'urt me feelin's. Ye know, I was actually the on'y sane one in a group o' pyromaniacs. But they made me light all the matches!

            Amy: Aye, it's the same one. About Lyn an' Sam, they're two different people but they're both based on me, so it's not surprisin' yer gettin' 'em confused.

            FridayMay13: Aye, this is the one. Yeah, the pepper-spray. It did have to do with a Nazgûl. I pepper-sprayed the Nazgûl. It was in "Welcome to Middle Earth."

Arr! Don' ye be insultin' me brother! I'm the on'y one allowed to call 'im names. Yes, please, put Latin in yer reviews.

            Hmm, I'll think abou' that. At church, love. Communion. Yer prolly right, I am that crazy. ff.mort ain't quite as bad as Yahoomort, 'cause ff.mort ain't tryin' to take over the internet.

            The failed Jack Sparrow romance is "Daughter of a Pirate." Ooh, I'd forgotten that!

            I know. Ye own more o' this story than I do. It's rather sad. Actually, well, nevermind about the cursin'. But if I were around pirates, I'd prolly start cursin' like a sailor. Jes' keep yer 'ands off 'im! Skif is mine!

            I know. I was tryin' to make 'em realistic. I mean, Lyn wouldn'a' gotten a chance to do much heroic stuff, an' I do tend to trip over me own feet.... I do like Johnny Depp, I jes' think 'e's ugly.

            Aye, yer already in the sequel. Aye, I was. They made me light all the matches because me sister was in Chemistry before so I asked 'er how to light 'em (we were havin' a bit o' trouble), an' I managed to light one without burnin' me fingers. I made it up from past arguments. Like I said, don' ye be makin' fun o' me brother!

            pIPPINpIRATE: I might add seagulls. In the sequel. If I get enough reviews. An' I think I burn some stuff in the sequel. A lot o' stuff happens in the sequel.

            * * *

            "Precious!" Tom hissed. He lunged at Lyn. She jerked back, her hand going to the gold ring she wore on a chain around her neck.

            "My Precious!" she hissed back. "Gollum, gollum."

            "Ooh, cool, let me see!" Katie exclaimed. Reluctantly Lyn handed over the Ring. "This is the real gold one, isn't it?" Katie whispered, her voice full of awe. "However did you afford it?"

            "We were pirates, remember?" Lyn replied. "Pirates steal gold an' get real rich. Savvy?"

            * * *

            They had trailed this merchant ship for three days, trying to determine if it held any worthwhile cargo. Finally, they decided to attack. "Unfurl the topsails!" Jack ordered. "Run out the guns! Prepare to attack!"

            Lyn took hold of her pistol with her left hand and her cutlass with her right.

            "Strike the Union Jack! Run up the Jolly Roger!" Jack went to shove his hat more firmly onto his head. It wasn't there. "Damn that girl," he swore. "Lyn, love, where did you put my hat?"

            "I di'n' put it anywhere!" Lyn protested. "I know the Code."

            Jack swore again. "If you took it, you will regret it."

            Luckily, the merchants did not put up a fight. "Why, Captain Sparrow," the merchant captain greeted the pirate.

            "Captain Jameson," Jack nodded. "What happened to yer last ship, mate?"

            "Sunk." Jameson grimaced. "Eldar."

            Jack winced.

            "Ah, I see you've heard of him," Jameson observed.

            Jack nodded. "Had a brush with him a few months ago. I don't care to think of it. Samantha—"

            "Oh, the thief. Clever, isn't she? Almost stole my ship right out from under my nose."

            Jack laughed. "That she is. So, why don't we get down to business. Where's your treasure?"

            "In the hold. Flinn, lad, fetch the treasure for Captain Sparrow."

            A boy of perhaps seventeen with a freckled nose bobbed his head and scurried to do the captain's bidding.

            "So, Captain Sparrow, what are those lads doing on your ship?" Jameson said, indicating Lyn and Tom. Lyn, of course, was dressed in a loose shirt and breeches, good clothes for working on a ship.

            "Oh, they were stirring up trouble in Tortuga, so I decided to get them away from there before they did anything disastrous."

            Flinn arrived with the treasure. Jack took it, and with one last bow to Captain Jameson, he boarded his own ship and sailed off.

            * * *

            There was still the problem of Corvil in the brig. Fortunately, he didn't manage to cause any real problems, and Jack decided to let him of at Execution Dock.

            "Are you _mad?_" Anamaria demanded. Jack gave her the look. "Nevermind," she sighed. "But still—Execution Dock! Are you trying to get us all killed?"

            "No," Jack said. "The kids started this, the kids can take care of it. They'll take him to the authorities. Savvy?"

            So Lyn and Tom took a tied-up Corvil out of the _Pearl_ in a jolly boat. They got off at the dock (Lyn paid the requested shilling and gave their names as Jack and Tom Astra), and went off in search of the authorities. They found an Admiral not very far away and turned over Corvil to him. "What ship are you with?" the Admiral asked.

            "_Dolphin_," Lyn replied. "We've been out at sea a while in search of pirates. We caught this one, but he didn't have any treasure on him. Have a good day." Lyn and Tom returned to the _Pearl_ as quickly as they could. As soon as they were aboard, Jack gave the orders to leave the harbor.

            "This'll make a nice tale," Tearlach remarked. "How we sailed right up to Execution Dock an' didn't get caught."

            * * *

            There we go. Another chapter. Rather short, but hey, I ran out o' steam tryin' to reply to all the reviews. Next chapter is the last, but stay tuned for "Into the Vortex." Oh, an' Friday, there's a nice surprise fer ye in "Into the Vortex." No, Elizabeth doesn't die, an' no, Legolas doesn't appear, but ye'll like it. I promise.

            Anyhoo, press that little button an' gimme a review! If I get a hundred, I'll let all o' y'all who want be in "Into the Vortex." Savvy?


	9. There's No Place Like Home

A/N (5/15/04): Damn to the depths whatever man that thought up virus! Bloody computer got a virus an' it's been in the bloody shop for the past week an' I haven't been able to update because the next chapter was already typed up on the bloody computer. Of course, I can't seem to find it now—there's absolutely nothing on the bloody computer, even the programs had to be reinstalled—so here I am, typin' it up again. An' I'm not in a good mood. I meant to update on me birthday, but the computer had only just returned from the shop, an' the programs weren't installed. On a happier note, I am now sixteen. Happy (belated) sweet sixteenth birthday, Friday! (Me evil twin was born on the same day as meself.) I'm gettin' me license pretty soon.

"Where's my hat?" Jack demanded, glaring at Lyn. "If you took it, girl, you will regret it."

            "Where's me cat?" Lyn asked at the same time. When she heard Jack's voice, she looked up from her own frantic search and smiled sweetly. "I only take yer 'at when I leave yer ship, mate. So's ye'll come back fer it. Savvy?"

            "Savvy," Jack sighed. He went back to his search.

            "If I were a cat, where would I be hidin'?" Lyn asked herself. "On me bed, o' course." Lyn had a bunkbed she sheared with her older sister when said sibling came home from college. The cats usually inhabited the top bunk, because they liked being up high. "So if I were a cat on a ship, I'd hide—in the crow's nest!" she shouted. She eyed the mast dubiously for a minute, then began to climb. She exulted in the swaying motion of the ship, and the dizzy sensation she got when she looked down. Though terrified of heights, Lyn loved being up high. She pulled herself into the crow's nest and found her cat, chewing happily on Jack's hat. "Bad Gypsy!" she tapped the cat on the nose. "Bad. Don't eat Jack's hat. It's like me homework. Ye don' eat it or I get in trouble. Oh, dear, Jack's goin' to kill me fer this." She put the hat on her head and tucked the cat under her arm and climbed back down.

            "Jack, love, I found yer hat. Gypsy stole it," Lyn reported. She bowed with a flourish and presented Jack with his hat.

"There ye go, kids," Jack said, helping them off the _Pearl_ and onto the beach, then throwing their chest full of gold after them. There was ₤2000 worth of gold in that chest, so the kids were free to go off the account. It was now Friday the 13th, and they decided it was time to return home.

            They buried the chest in the beach and waved good-bye to Jack and the crew. Then they raced each other up the beach to their house, which was just as they had left it. Their parents were just arriving home.

            "What happened?" their mother demanded.

            "Er," Tom said, as he tried to remember what had happened, for him, months before.

            "We were attacked by pirates," Lyn supplied.

            "Bet it was two pirates named Lyn and Tom," their father said, shaking his head.

"So your parents didn't believe you?" Lisa asked.

            "Of course they didn't!" Nick said. "Otherwise the story wouldn't work. If their parents had believed them (in the story), then we could just go ask the parents and they should say Lyn and Tom here were telling the truth. But they're not, so they have to say their parents didn't believe them."

            Katie nodded, but she looked thoughtful.

            Mrs. Astra stuck her head in Lyn's door. "Time to leave, y'all. It's getting dark. Go on, out with you!"

            As Lyn's friends left, Mrs. Astra looked Lyn up and down. There was something out of place—something—"Lyndsay Astra, where _did_ you get that hat?"

Done! I might revise the chapter if I manage to access the old file, but I probably won't. What I'm really depressed about is the third chapter of _The Legacy of War_. Eleven pages in Word, all gone! Honesly, if I could I would track down whoever wrote that virus and sacrifice them to the Aztec gods!

            Amy: Yes, only one more chapter. I can't have it go on forever. But "Into the Vortex" is already written out for the first four chapters, which are about six notebook pages each. However, even with the long delay it doesn't look like I'm going to get 100 reviews. Ah well. I'll see about having other ways to get y'all into the story.

          Cupcakeswirl: Maybe I could write a sequel. Maybe I could title it "Into the Vortex." Maybe I could advertise it in just about every chapter in this story. Sorry about not making the last chapter long. I'm not in a very good mood at the moment because I was told the virus wouldn't erase the documents but apparently it has. Maybe (hopefully) Dad can access them for me, but he's not home at the moment so I have to retype this bloody chapter an' I can't remember everything I put in it. It was already typed up before I got yer review an' it wasn't very long even then, but then I bloody lost it! Rant over.

          Jack Sparrow's Only Love: Listen, love, ye ain't the Captain's only love, unless yer Anamaria. About yer review. I really meant to update soon. As I've said, I had the chapter typed. I'd forgotten to put summat in the last chapter so I typed up this chapter an' put it in here, but then the computer crashed an' had to be taken to the shop, so I couldn't update.

          Mme. Calico Jack Rackham: Thank ye fer yer review.

          Pirate grlEe: Sure I'll keep it up. The sequel, "Into the Vortex," is crazier.

          DuelingDestiny: Yer still callin' 'im names. Ye don' 'ave to be talkin' to be callin' someone names. Ye didn't really offend me, I've jes' got to be protective o' me little brother.

          Fireblade K'Chona: That's interesting. So ye came up with the green hair thing on yer own, not prompted by our purple Whites.


End file.
